Current location:	池袋、豊島区、東京都
Current mood:	sad
Current music:	michi. with Mach LiDARZ - 「SHADOW-旅団の影-」
Entry tags:	aurora, concerts, daishi, ecstasy 002., japan, kriss, lida, lives, michi, michi. with mach lidarz, plc, s.q.f., takadanobaba club phase, the romeo, tokyo

LIVE REPORT: ecstasy 002. at 高田馬場 CLUB PHASE, 02.03.08
Night two. this night was....a bit of a blur, to be honest. So much was going on, and I was already pretty emotionally frazzled after last night....I really barely slept last night. I kept having nightmares about Lida and Daishi--call me a fucking baby. I really just am, I know.

I almost don't want to recite this live because...it was just as depressing as I'd been afraid it would be. Well, the encore was depressing, and the rest worked to get my hopes up where they shouldn't have been.


michi. with Mach LiDARZ
Ah, so...tonight's performance by michi and company was...extra-special. michi was really on-point tonight. And by that, I mean that he managed to smack Lida in the face no less than three times. As you probably could tell from my last report, I'm really pissed at Lida, so watching Lida get smacked in the face was therapudic in ways I can't quite articulate.

So they open with the same crappy music as yesterday. The drummer comes out, then the bassist, then Lida. No one cheered for Lida at that point, which made me really happy. Lida doesn't deserve their cheers, or ours. Lida looked a little bothered by the fact that no one had really cheered for him, and I'm glad for that. One girl behind us managed to get out a cheer for Lida, but we largely drowned her out with our own cheers. michi finally came out, and we cheered loudly for michi, mostly because we wanted Lida to hear us not cheering for him. We're vindictive bitches, so sue us. He deserves it.

They started playing, and the first thing I noticed was that Lida's mouth was all pinched, like he was trying not to cry. By virtue of having seen PLC's last live DVD, I know what Lida looks like when he's trying not to cry and doesn't want people to notice. He does this thing where he leans into his left shoulder and puts his head down, and he started doing that a few songs in, though he looked like he'd start crying from the beginning. His lip was all pink like he'd been chewing it. And call me a bad person, but it made me happy to see Lida looking upset. It's proof that he has a soul, or something. Maybe.

On the bright side, michi seemed pissed at Lida. He wouldn't even look at Lida for almost the entire set, which I believe was nine songs tonight. He did look over at Lida once halfway through the first song and he shot Lida such an...annoyed look. I'm calling backstage fighting, because Lida wouldn't meet his eyes either. He played almost the entire set with his head down, and he screwed up over and over again. It didn't help that the guitar was tuned in too loud, so every time Lida wasn't playing in sync, you could hear it pretty acutely.

It was at about...maybe the sixth song or so, Lida started looking a little better, and he came up to the front of the stage next to michi. michi, Mr. I-Flail-So-Much-It-Should-Be-Illegal, had his left hand splayed out to the side, and Lida walked up right behind his hand. I think he was hoping that michi would sense him there and move his hand. Instead, Lida walked right smack into michi's hand, which hit him right in the face. michi, instead of lowering his hand, kind of leaned closer to Lida and flailed his hand a few more times. Right into Lida's face. He had to have known that Lida was still there, but still, he continued on. Lida looked a bit...irritated? And angry. And a bit hurt.

One thing I've forgotten to mention up to this point--the light show tonight was excessive. Last night, they had almost no light show, but tonight, it was flashy lights everywhere, to the extent that it actually made me dizzy. Perhaps they were trying to distract from the animosity onstage. I really don't know. XP

The second to last song they played was "Paradise!" and during that song, michi looked at Lida once and smiled, and Lida looked relieved for a minute, but michi refused meet Lida's eyes again. Lida seemed....well, he wasn't crying during the last two songs. He didn't seem happy, but he wasn't crying (or trying not to cry, or whatever he was doing...) anymore. I was a little disappointed to be honest.

The other highlight of michi. with Mach LiDARZ was....well, michi. First off, when he's singing angrily into the microphone, he's kind of...erm....sexy? Even if his voice is kind of death sometimes. He looked...really nice. Secondly, the things he was doing to his microphone stand should not be allowed in public. It was...interesting. He was basically jerking his mic stand off. >.> Yeah. At one point, he actually leaned down and started licking his mic stand. Yeah. Go michi. I'm kind of in love with him right now, mostly for seeming angry at Lida. I hope he yelled at Lida backstage, not just for upsetting Daishi, but for insulting him by not even coming onstage at the end for an event that michi put together. That's really just callous, Lida.


The ROMEO
The ROMEO's live tonight was....completely different than last night's. I could hardly believe it was the same band, and might not have were it not for the overweight Japanese girl legs flying through the air during multiple songs. Daishi came out right at the beginning, and he was just....alive. He started out completely into it, and carried on that way for the whole live. After last night, when he seemed dead for the first four songs, I was happy to see it.

I'm also happy to report that during The ROMEO's set, the only moisture on Daishi's face was sweat. Which is gross, but at least he wasn't crying. Not then, anyway.

The ROMEO was wearing their black suits with white ties today. Shingo came out with a bandana over his nose and mouth, which looked silly. Daishi came out with the sunglasses on at first, but like last night, he took them off just a few songs in. They opened with "Rodeo Strapping Boogie," which is just as stupid the second time around as it was the first. Again, Daishi would sing one line, then get us to repeat it (and yes, the only lyrics to the whole song seem to be "Rodeo Strapping Boogie" over and over again x.x). Daishi's ring was back on its customary finger on his right hand. Daishi came out screaming to get everyone into the live, and kept going that way. He asked us to jump during no less than three songs. He didn't seem...happy, per se, because I don't think Daishi really smiled once during the live, though he did lecherously lick his lips a lot, like last night.

He gave a couple of M.C.s, during which he once more announced the incorrect release date of 『JOKER』. The whole crowd was kind of like, "Eeeh? Chigau yo...?" Daishi grabbed his microphone stand and kind leaned against it with a, "God, I'm stupid," expression on his face. It was actually a little bit adorable. We all kind of chorused, "Awwwwwww!" at which point Daishi yelled at us in some angry Kansai-ben that if he says the release date is in February, it's in fucking February. It was actually a little bit scary to hear such rough speech out of Daishi's mouth, especially with the way his voice lowered. Scary. x.x

He did another M.C. in which he said the snow was rather cool (cool as in "neat" and not "cold"), and thanked the people who were standing out in the snow waiting for the live. And babbled some more about snow, however, he did manage to get entire sentences out tonight, not just confused sentence starters. People also, at one point, started telling Daishi "Happy Birthday" since his birthday is on the fifth, and he thanked people, though said it was a little early. But we all know we won't be seeing him on or before his birthday, so....>.> In fact, I wonder if he'll leave his apartment. x.x

Another thing that's worthwhile to note is that Daishi's...erm..."Excalibur" was...not fighting ready tonight (if you know what I mean x.x), the few times I got a glance at his lower half. For those of you who don't know, Daishi has an interesting onstage problem with...erm...a rather perpetual erection, but tonight, I didn't notice it, at least the few times I got a glimpse (sorry, Aurora, just had to throw it in there! XD).

They played "Billy" a few songs in, which surprised both Kristin and myself, but we have both wanted to see it live, so we were totally into it. Considering the subject matter of the song and how emotional it is (and the fact that they only rarely play it live because of that), I expected Daishi to get more emotional, but he didn't really seem affected at all by it. Though at least they didn't play "Never Junky's Hi," tonight, I don't believe. They probably didn't think Daishi could take it again. I'm not sure I could have, either.

They followed "Billy" with "Darlin' Nostalgia," which I was hoping they'd play because I had it stuck in my head. They played a lot of the same songs from yesterday along with it, and I can't really remember the order, to be honest.

I know that near the end, they played "バンビ" (third song from last, I think), then "GOD JAPANESE MONSTER," and they closed with "Angela." They played the same part of "GOD JAPANESE MONSTER" four separate times, and I kept thinking the song would be over, but they kept going. It was fun to keep doing, but by this point, they all looked really exhausted, though Daishi looked like he would have been willing to go a few more songs. x.x (Hiroki was sweating like a pig again. x.x).

During one of the songs prior to "バンビ," Daishi once more attempted to headbang, and like last night, he lost his balance and kind of failed at that (he also fell off the platform at the front of the stage more than once). It was during those middle songs that people were being rolled toward the stage again, but after yesterday's ball-kicking incident, Daishi stayed back behind one of the staff guys down in front of the stage. Daishi, today, came out unscathed, though Hiroki got kicked in the face. He gave the audience a kind of mock-angry look, but he was grinning, so it didn't have much effect. It was pretty adorable.

During the super-extended version of "GOD JAPANESE MONSTER," Daishi went back to the back of the stage and talked to Shingo for a minute--he seemed to be checking on his friend, which was pretty sweet of him. We all screamed for Daishi nonstop, and it seemed to amuse him a little, for which I'm glad. Daishi deserves every moment of happiness he can grasp, especially on a night like tonight. (T__T)

By the end, Daishi was looking a little frazzled, though. He kind of held his head and swayed a little, and Kristin and I exchanged a look--he kind of looked like he was going to pass out more than once near the end. Again, though, he made it through okay, but no stage-diving or anything today. At first, I was thinking that tonight was a better night than last night, mostly because...Daishi didn't cry onstage during The ROMEO's set, like last night. And yet, in some ways, I really think that tonight might have been worse for him, and harder. And once again, he was off the stage in seconds once the live was over.


S.Q.F.
If I thought S.Q.F. was special last night, they were....super-special tonight. Last night's outfits were like...weirdly patterned black latex along with some matching shit stuck to the sides of their heads, but tonight. But tonight's....oh, tonight's! They were excitingly purple and gold, and michi especially was pretty amazing. He had some fuzzy shit on his right shoulder, but it started falling off about the second song in, and so did his arm warmer. Not sure what happened to the arm warmer, but he took the fuzzy purple thing (with gold chains on it) off while singing. He attempted to take the shit off gracefully, and he failed a lot. He actually tried to put it back on his shoulder twice, but it really just would not stay.

They also had really unnecessary gold skirt-like shit, the sole of purpose of which was, I think, for michi to swirl it around. And swirl it he did, right into Nao twice and the the bassist once. He also smacked Nao in arm once, and kind of gave him an apologetic look, and Nao just shrugged and smiled after pretending to be angry and holding out his fist at michi for a second. It was cute.

At one point, michi picked up his mic stand and turned it upside down and the base of it hit one of the stage lights. We were really worried he'd knock it down and kill himself. x.x And during one of the songs, when he wanted the audience to sing along, he'd pick up the mic stand and turn it out toward the audience, holding it over their heads, which was really adorable.

Watching S.Q.F. tonight was...different from last night. They played a few more of the heavier songs, because I remember more headbanging than last night, though they still played some of the same fun, bouncy ones from last night. I think they played more songs than last night, too, and the last song has especially amusing furitsuke to do (it's one of the same that they played last night, and it was fun then, too ^.^). michi was also a lot less...physically interactive with his bandmates. He seemed....more intense, more focused, and less WTF!genki-all-over-the place. He did put his arm around the bassist once, and stroked Nao's arm strangely during one of Nao's solos, but other than that, it was pretty tame as touching went, compared to last night, anyway.

I can't think of anything else to say about S.Q.F.--I pulled a muscle in my thigh about halfway through their set, so I admittedly wasn't paying as much attention as I might have, as I was in pain. Nao is still adorable, though, and insanely talented. Part of me would love to watch S.Q.F. live again, even if michi's voice does suck. Their lives are such fun. XP Though I don't think I'd ever willingly listen to recorded music. No fun, when I don't have michi's pretty face and flailing limbs to distract me from his...questionable voice. x.x


The Encore
Pulled thigh muscle aside, I was in a great mood by the time the encore came around. Lida seemed upset, Daishi seemed somewhat okay, michi seemed pissed, and I was hoping that this all added up somehow to, "Someone knocked some sense into Lida." I was hoping Lida would shock me by coming out tonight. I was hoping...a lot of things. I was disappoined on all of them.

They all came out together, like they did last night. Shingo first, on drums, and I guess Daisuke was also playing guitar, but I didn't notice him last night. x.x (Fail on my part, I'm sorry. I was watching Daishi. x.x) Nao was playing the other guitar, and Hiroki was on bass, and as before, the members who weren't playing came out onstage, too. But no Lida.

So Daishi and michi both came out, michi first then Daishi. Daishi had this insanely large grin on his face, and I was relieved for a minute. But then Kristin turned back to me and said, "Is it me, or does he look like he's been crying again?" And I looked more closely at Daishi, and indeed, his face was red again. He looked crushed once again, completely opposite the way he looked when he'd been onstage with his band, but the sick part was that he was trying to smile the entire time, especially when michi would look over at him. I think he was trying to put up a brave front for michi, which is sweet but heartbreaking.

The ROMEO had changed outfits--Hiroki was wearing a white leather jacket like their black ones from the night before, and Daisuke was wearing something more casual, though I don't precisely remember what. Daishi's outfit was absolutely adorable, a grey fedora and a grey vest, over a black shirt that had the same slight v-neck as last night's. He was wearing the same jewelry, including Kirito's necklace, as always. Daishi asked how many people had gone to last night's live, and we raised our hands. They seemed a little surprised by the amount of people who raised their hands. They kept saying things about the previous night's concert that I didn't quite catch, and then, Daishi mentioned Lida like...twice. Neither of us managed to quite understand what he had said, as he was speaking really fast, but I'm guessing it's not, "Lida and I made up, and now we're friends again!" as Lida still didn't come out onstage tonight. And Daishi was crying again.

They played the same two songs as last night, but about thirty seconds into the first one, I noticed that Daishi was wiping away tears from under his eyes and wiping his nose, and he kept doing that every so often throughout the entire encore, though he did manage to sound pretty normal both singing and talking, for which I commend him. But from all that he was wiping his cheeks, it was obvious that he was definitely crying, again, and it was absolutely pitiful to watch. And again, the most disturbing part of it was whenever michi would look over, Daishi would flash him this huge smile, and it was almost grotesque to watch, because it was so faked, and such a terrible contrast of a bastardized show of happiness with Daishi's complete dejection.

When michi looked away, though, Daishi generally tended to stand pretty still and just look...entirely blank. Dead. I don't know what, if anything, happened between The ROMEO's set and the encore, or if it was just finally hitting Daishi how much this all hurt, but he was completely different. As if all the life had been sucked out of him. I might be able to shed more light if I had understood what he said about Lida, but....x.x I'm honestly surprised he mentioned Lida at all.

The encore was...more subdued than last night, or maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention to anyone but Daishi, because I kept watching to see if he'd wipe his eyes again. (T__T) I didn't see S.Q.F.'s bassist and drummer flailing around as much as they had last night, though Hiroki still seemed quite into it, the same way he was during The ROMEO's set (he was all over the stage, grinning and coming up to the front and just vehemently playing his guitar. And when he and Daisuke gave each other a high-five as they switched sides of the stage during one of The ROMEO's songs....cute. Adorable. ^.^)

Daishi sang for awhile with his arm slung around Nao's shoulder, but his attempts to be bright were lackluster at best. You could hear the tears in his voice when he sang, and...it was heartbreaking. Once more, within three seconds of them finishing, Daishi was off the stage, his head bowed. He was crying, and it was obvious. I wanted to hurt Lida so badly at that moment.


After the live
People cheered kind of halfheartedly for an encore, but they put the screen down and Kristin and I were pretty sure there just...wouldn't be another, so we got ready to leave. We moved into the room where the bar and merchandise and such are, and that's also where the door to the dressing room opens into. And again, right as we got there, the members of The ROMEO were coming out. Everyone "Otsukaresama"-ed them all, and there were also many choruses of "Arigatou!", and Hiroki was grinning, and Shingo nodded to us. Daishi was the last to come out, and first off, he didn't have a coat on. He went out into the snow without a coat. No joke. Secondly, he already had his cigarettes in his hand, and he actually ducked back into the dressing room area for a moment to take a drag of his cigarette.

He was smoking on the way out, and as everyone tried to thank him, and shit, he just...didn't seem to notice. He walked past us all kind of like a zombie, like...he just wanted to get out of there. His face was red, and his eyes were glassy, and it was just...have I used the word "heartbreaking" enough? I don't have many more apt words. I kind of want to kill Lida and hug Daishi, though I don't think either action would be fully appreciated by either of them.

When Daishi cried, I wanted to cry, and I nearly did. A lot of the fans were really upset tonight, too--we walked past one girl positively bawling as we were walking out, and she wasn't the only one crying..

I just...I hope Lida knows how many fans he alienated these two nights. I hope he knows that there were people crying because he hurt Daishi. I hope he knows that he made Daishi cry, and I hope that he feels like shit about it. I hope he hates himself for it, at least, and that's why he was crying. I say that I hope he knows, but honestly...even if he did, I'm not fully sure he'd care. He clearly doesn't seem to care all that much, because he keeps trampling on Daishi's hopes time and time again.

I've forgiven Lida twice for hurting Daishi like this. I've sympathized with Lida, come back to being a fan after being incredibly angry at him, and continued to support him despite everything.

But I honestly don't think I can forgive Lida this time. Last year, when Lida disappointed Daishi, I didn't have to stand there and have my heart torn out as I watched Daishi cry. And I think I've given Lida enough chances, given him the benefit of the doubt too many times. I've tried to rationalize his behavior, look at things from his point of view...but at this point, he's simply torturing the man he once considered his best friend. And I can't sympathize with that or support him for it. And from the look on michi's face tonight...I'm not sure michi or anyone else can either. I hope Lida alienated more than just his fans. Maybe it will finally knock some sense into him

I give up on Lida. I really, really do. And I wish Daishi could too, only so he wouldn't have to be hurt by him any more. x.x